In your life, you need someone to help you through. You need a person who is willing to talk to you at 3am when you’re about to lose it, and still, half asleep, knows exactly what to say. Just one person, for some people, can be the difference between life and death. You need someone for when you’re angry, or in trouble, or you just feel terrible about whatever. You need someone that you can lean on and that will get you through anything.
Maybe there’s someone who is already there for you that leaps to mind immediately when you read this. Or maybe someone’s there and you just haven’t noticed yet. Think about it; they’re the person that you go to first when you need to talk, the person who knows every gory detail about the parts of your life you don’t usually tall anyone. They’re the person you want to talk to first. The person who knows you better than anyone else, for no real reason that you know. They might not be your best friend or your closest friend, and that’s okay. They don’t have to be. The point is that they’re your person.
Now, here’s the thing. I know who my person is. I know it so well that the next part of this is a really sore subject. I went and I ruined it all. I was having a terrible night, and I acted on it. I took it out on them. And there was a really important question in what I said to them. And I got the seen notification, but I never got a reply. The next time my person tried to talk to me, I was having another terrible day. And so I flipped out again. And now I don’t think that he ever wants to talk to me again. I feel so stupid and childish over what I said and did, and I feel terrible.
So now on this blog, and I need to apologise. If somehow you see this, I’m so, so sorry. I knew exactly what would hurt, and I used it. Me having two terrible nights when you tried to talk to me is no excuse. I shouldn’t have done it and now I feel terrible. You’re one of my best friends and now I’ve gone and ruined it. And now I need you and I can’t talk to you and I’m so sorry. I know you probably don’t care and I deserve that, but I need to say I’m sorry. Please, if you by chance don’t hate me as much as I’m sure you do, please talk to me. I need you more than I knew. And I hate that I’m bringing this into it, and ignore it by all means if that’s what it takes to get you talking to me again, but please understand why I need to know.